#i really don't see the point of making period pieces anymore

[seriousfic]

[fvckw4d]

The concept of queerbaiting annoys me. I was told that it refers to a work of fiction pretending to cater to a queer audience but then pulling back from it to avoid alienating homophobes, which is an incredibly specific thing. But a lot of people seem to think that it instead means "any time there's any gay subtex, metaphor, or ambiguity" or "whenever something from 1995-2012 was being a normal amount of homophobic for the era."

[kaivenom]

Hii, may I ask One piece dilf first reaction to having a wet dream about you? If it's not a problem could you include Benn Beckamn in this one?

Thanks

OP Dilfs reaction to having a wet dream about you

Characters: Doflamingo, Mihawk, Crocodile, Smoker, Shanks, Benn Beckman

A/N: this is pre-relationship.

Masterlist

Dracule Mihawk

He is perplexed, how can he have so little control over himself?

He refuses to jerk off but somehow he still rubs himself a little to feel some relief, and that makes him feel even more like an animal.

All day he feels like he is on a cloud, and if he has a sichibukai meeting, everyone notices it.

It's like he is there but his mind is somewhere else... obviously nobody know but his mind is on his dream about pounding you so hard that he could split your cunt open with your legs over his shoulders.

Worse if you are on the meeting, cause his gaze would accidentally follow you.

Donquixote Doflamingo

He wakes up with a moan that turns into a laugh.

He feels like the most mischiveous bastard ever and he is enjoying it.

He jerks off himself and gets thru the day as ussual, but everyone notices just how he is more smiley and flirtatious.

He keeps himself close to you all day, with a little to much physical contact.

You just think he is doing jokes on you, that today is the day that you have to put up with him and his temper.

But in reality he is trying to make you see how much he wants you, he tries to make you notice his boner and in some delusional way express affection towards you.

Sr. Crocodile

He is in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

He doesn't do anything about the boner and expects it to go soft with time.

He tries to keep his day as normal as he could but the images of you are just getting back.

He sees you on the office and inmediatly fantasize about you riding him on the office chair.

There is a period of time in his office when he is just looking at the ceiling and imagine you entering and getting on the desk ready for him.

That's why he hates dreaming about you, cause then the desire and the longing is to much to handle.

Smoker

He goes to the shower and tries to forget it, but he couldn't forget and his dick is going up and down all day.

He becomes really clumsy all day, to the point were even his subordinates tell him to stay on his chambers/office.

Very conveniently, he gets the clumsier when you are around.

Tripping over his feet, hitting his face against a door or wall, falling due to not seeing the final step on the stair, and more.

He ends up getting on the nursery and rest there a couple of hours.

Then he couldn't help it anymore and starts to slowly and painfully stroke himself, feeling a little guilty but also full of lust.

Akagami Shanks

He jerks off and then tries to rub it off by being the most comical men in the world.

You don't even know what happened but you can just confirm that Shanks will be glued to you all day and he would be all his comedian ass for the day.

Thru the day Shanks try to bury the memory of your ass from behind taking him in four by making new memories more impactful.

But he isn't really good at it cause his intentions show up unconsciously.

Awkard flirting and sexy jokes all day that are little hints.

Benn Beckmann

He smokes more than ussual.

He is so stunned and bervous about the dream that he needs to lit a cigarrette up just to calm his nerves.

He sees you and he tries to ignore you but at the same time he salivates for you, a little to obvious.

He checks you out all day, everywhere and even more when you are talking to another person.

You try to get close to him for anything and he is just standing there completely still.

You assume is just a bad mood day for him, but he is trying to hide his boner from you and trying not to take you on his lap.

[uhhhj13iguess]

heat wave

peter parker x fem!reader

summary: on a boiling new york day, you suggest to your best friend that you should head down to the beach

wc: ~1k

cw: not much, just a lot of fluff from an almost direct situation that happened between me and my fiance before we started dating teehee. i made a hard-on joke, if that counts?

masterlist and taglist!

neither of you could remember the last time new york had been this hot.

it didn’t help that your building had no AC, leading you to peter’s apartment on the blistering saturday afternoon to occupy space in front of his window unit. you soaked up as much of the lukewarm air as you could, just thankful for any amount of movement in the humidity. you let out a groan as you shifted in your spot on his hardwood floor, sweaty thighs sticking to the ground.

peter wasn’t doing much better, starfished behind you in just a pair of shorts. his curly brown hair was damp against his forehead, every inch of his body glistening with a thin layer of sweat. his eyes were closed as he hummed along to his records.

you were glad every inch of your skin was already burning hot, because looking over to him instantly reddened your cheeks. he made a strangled noise next to you as you kept your gaze focused out the window.

“i’m so hottttttttt, ughhhhhh” peter whined.

you gave a chuckle in response. “peter, that’s the fifth time you’ve said that in the last ten minutes. it’s 105° outside, what do you expect?”

another groan. “cause its so hot! i can't take it anymore!”

"what do you want from me?" you laughed at him.

"i don't know! anything! put me out of my misery, take me out back and put me down at this point."

you rolled your eyes at his theatrics, a fawned composure taking place on the floor as he threw a hand dramatically over his forehead. you sat and pondered for a second, an idea creeping into your mind.

"you know, there's a beach not too far from here. i'm sure it'll be crowded, but the water could feel really nice."

peter shot up instantly, eyes bright. "you're a genius."

you gave his shoulder a playful shove, a noise of disgust leaving your throat as you wiped his own sweat back onto him. "gross peter, yeah. we need to get you out of this apartment. you're drenched, it's disgusting."

"you know just what to say to get a guy doing, don't you?"

you rolled your eyes and stood up, lending a hand down for him to grab. "whatever, parker. come on, next time i put my hand on you and it's that wet, it better be from the water."

he beamed at you before turning to sprint away.

peter's voice trailed off as he ran down the hall to his bedroom. "grab something from may's room! dude, i can't wait for you to see the new spider-man trunks i got..."

you chuckled at him as you padded down to the door across from him, letting yourself into may's empty bedroom as you rifled through her drawers. you'd done this many times before, half your own waredore being a mixture of clothes from the parker household. but as you pulled out a small, red two-piece, a knot formed in your stomach.

you couldn't remember the last time you'd been swimming with peter. honestly, maybe swimming period. and while the thought of being in barely any clothing sounded amazing on your burning skin, you grew nervous at the thought of wearing the suit in front of peter. you knew he wouldn't make you uncomfortable, in any shape or form, but something about being in so little in front of him... well, let's just say you hoped he didn't notice your heart beating in double-time.

you shed your clothes and slipped the bikini on, giving yourself an unconvincing look in the mirror. with a deep breath, you began to pad down the hallway, arms anxiously covering your stomach. you approached the living room, greeted by peter packing a bag on the couch, flaming red and blue swin trunks with his own face scattered about.

you cleared your throat, "welp."

peter turned around to see you exaggeratedly gesture towards yourself, lips pursed into a sarcastic, tight line. you glanced down at yourself in the suit, almost in a defeated manner. might as well get it over with and move on.

peter had never made more direct eye contact in his life.

he didn't dare look at the rest of you; the sight in his peripheral vision alone was enough to blow his pupils wide. he let out a shaky breath, nodding a little too passionately.

"oh, you found one. it's... fine."

yeah, you were fine, alright. in fact, the only thing keeping him from a raging hard-on was having to remind himself you were wearing may's suit. that brought him right back down each time his mind drifted.

your arms shot to your stomach again, panic silent on your features. "...fine?"

peter's eyes nearly burst out of his head. "no! i mean, it's nice! you look nice! i mean, it... yeah. we match! that's pretty... cool..."

he trailed off, eyes daring to dart down to the red suit shone against your smooth skin. his eyes met yours again quickly, a curt smile tight on his face. at this point, you're pretty sure your cheeks matched your outfit.

you gave his a soft smile in return, gesturing down to his spider-man trunks. "i like yours too."

peter didn't register a word you'd said, just nodding with fervor and making a little too much eye contact.

"you ready to go?" you questioned, motioning towards the bag he'd been packing.

"hm?"

"the beach?"

"oh! y-yeah. the beach."

"mhm."

"yeah,"

you gave him a funny look. "y-yeah! i'm ready, let's head out."

needless to say, the beach did nothing to cool either of you off.

[mayhavemayhem]

I'm Sorry, Did Someone Say 'No Straight Roads 2'???

WE ARE SO BACKK??? HOLY MOLY WE ARE SO BACK!!!!!

AND I GUESS I AM TOO UHM....Hey guys, how's it going?? How's the last year been treating you? I know it sure has been quite the ride for me XD

But no, seriously let's uh...let's talk real quick!!

So, I've been gone- :3

I know, shocker! I bet you had no idea, and now you're probably wondering: "where have I been?"

And if you weren't thinking that, then just pretend like you were.

(I know most of you are just here for the art lol, it's okay, me too. That being said, If you don't wanna read my long spiel about my absence and stuff then i'd probably scroll right about now XD)

Back in March last year, I made a post talking about going on hiatus due to some issues I was having. And then I came back May 1st....we don't talk about that lol

For the most part, everything that I was dealing with has been taken care of - I've had a lot of time to learn about myself during that period. 2024 wasn't the best year, but a lot came out of it that helped me grow, and that includes the way I feel about my art and NSR.

I originally created this blog for two reasons:

One - because I wanted to archive any and all of my NSR work.

And two - because NSR really spoke to me in a way that not many medias have, and I wanted to show my appreciation in some way.

I created this blog waay after I'd already played the game. it was kinda an impulsive decision - I'd been posting on amino up until that point and I had the passing thought to archive some of those drawings on a blog, in case they ever got lost. I think the funniest thing about that is that I created the blog and then waited an entire year before making my first post.

I was so nervous about the whole thing, I don't even know why XD

I was struggling a lot during that time; a lot of life problems that just kept getting worse. But NSR had remained a constant, and this blog gave me somewhere to go that felt welcoming. I never expected the attention that my art got, and I'll always be thankful to everyone who's ever liked or reblogged any one of my posts.

-So thank you all!

I love NSR so much, it's timing couldn't have been more perfect. It came into my life during a period where I really needed it. This blog has been nothing more than my appreciation for the game and everything that it has done for me, really.

But late 2024, I'd reasoned with myself that I didn't really need to keep posting on this blog anymore. I kinda felt like, everything that I wanted to do and say had been fulfilled; I didn't need to keep holding on to it anymore.

Funnily enough, I was just about to put this blog to rest, when suddenly my page is flooded by none other than -

No Straight Roads 2.

Shocked, is an understatement. Excited, is also an understatement.

Not only have I been screeching about this to everyone in the nearest vicinity to me, but I've been full of adrenaline, like -

I'm convinced if you tried to hit me with a car, the car would just crush itself continually until it's become nothing but a minuscule piece of scrap metal under the weight of my internal excitement.

that - and, I've also kinda taken it as a sign.

There's still so much I haven't posted here or shared - and what kind of archive would this be if it didn't include EVERYTHING NSR that i've ever made.

That would just be a terrible archive. So I plan to fix that!

I'll be posting here everything NSR that I've made. Yeah, that includes some old unfinished fanfics and a LOT of scrapped work. You'll see it all if you plan to hangout lol

I'll also be posting new art too!! here's to hoping I can draw mayday and zuke again, It's been quite some time!! If you've read this far down, Thank you! sorry this was long and boring and all that stuff XD

I can't wait to get back to it, I'll see you...probably tomorrow....or the day after.....or the day after the day after......orrrr the day after the day after the day afterrrr.......

OH, and one more-

-ugh, sorry about that. didn't mean to jump at you so hard.

one more thing! If you have any questions for me, feel free to ask. this blog is about to be a hodge-podge of NSR things so - if you're curious about anything - ask away!!

Mkay, Bye for real this time!!!

[maxiscoolongg]

PATRICK HOCKSETTER HEADCANNONS

——

☆ Lets bfr yall probably became friends because you were tutoring him on math because he is failing in school😭😭

★ like the teacher would pull you and Patrick aside after class and be like "Y/n you are going to be tutoring Patrick" you were stuned tbh

☆ Patrick however was really happy or something. When you guys were tutoring he kept asking questions about you.

★ You guys got surprisingly close.

☆ He gives you so much nicknames😭 (Ex: doll, dollface, pretty, darling, peaches)

★ he is really affectionate like REALLY affectionate.

——

You were at your locker getting your books for next period until you felt to hands go into your hoops of your shorts you giggled a little as you said "Hello pat" you said sweetly. That same sweet voic that made him fall in love with you "Hey dollface, I was thinking we watch a movie at your house?" He asked as his hands traveled to your waist as his head went onto your shoulder as you looked at him "Mm.. Maybe, I have dance after school" you said as you turned around

"Awh, come one can't you just skip one class, prettyface" He said flirty "I guess I can, but if my mom yells at me I will blame you" You said smiling a tiny bit as he smirked.

——

☆ He was the one who confessed to you for sure.

★ he LOVES watching horror movies.

☆ He for sure loves scream (Pretened it was released then)

★ Loves the way you get closer to him everytime a murder scene pops up

☆ If you don't flinch he love if you rant about it.

——

You guys were watching a movie and a murder scene popped up, he looked at you a little as you got closer in fear he watched as your brows came together as the character made a stupid decision "Oh my God!- she is so stupid! Why wouldn't she run the other way!" You yelled as he chuckled a little. He ADORED the way you ranted about movies he loves it so much.

——

★ Loves your lips, thighs, waist, ass,

☆ Definitely whispers stuff in your ear during school like ge would wishper stuff to make you laugh or to make you flustered

★ Your scared of the Bowers gang. Without a doubt, they are nice to you (Vic is the nicest) but still. You are friends with the losers and the keep telling you about them but you say "They're nice to me though!"

☆ Patrick definitely stalks you and takes pictures without permission. He loves the pictures of you drawing in class,

——

YANDERE PATRICK HC

♡ you thought the relationship was all lovey dovey? No way.

♥︎ this man is so fucking overprotective, to the point its not even funny anymore

♡ if your asking me bro probably started stalking you in the 6th grade💀🙏🏻

♥︎ anyway, he probably planned the whole tutoring thing cause believe it or not he is actually probably really smart.

♡ teachers are SCARED of patrick, bro can practically get anything he wants so be careful my guy.

♥︎ If your hanging out with one of friends? Nope. Not any more! Patrick can keep you company,

♡ loves and I mean LOVES when he takes photos of you when you don't know, like bro will definitely pull a Johnathan byers and take photos of you changing. Not even kidding.

——

"I'm going to bed night ma!" You said to your mom as you gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked in your room closing the door behind you as you walked to your closet and took off your top to grab a pajama shirt

"God.." Patrick whispered from outside of your window, he was far but not the far, he was far enough you couldn't see him. He took a quick photo and almost chocked on his breath when he saw you bare naked. "Fucking gorgeous, darling" he whispered to himself but then again towards you

——

♥︎ bro is a sneaky mother fucker, steals everything.

♡ think a bracelet of yours looks nice? His now. No he doesn't do it because he wants it, he did it because he thinks you looked good wearing it and now he wants it so he can have a piece of you on him.

(EDITED March, 31st 2023.)

THATS ALL I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!!

[diaries4life100]

A Lovers Support

Pairing: Laurance x FemReader

WARNINGS: slightly suggestive ending but that’s it.

Y’all. I’m getting to that point in my young adulthood where I can’t indulge in tasty treats as much anymore 😔 my metabolism…is SLOWING DOWN. I knew this day would come…the tummy isn’t so bad, but you know how you’re feeling great about yourself and then you notice that one thing and you’re like “wait, that kinda makes me insecure” that happened to me the other day when I bent over and all the rolls kinda bunched up (if you know you know) and I just had to write this to make me feel better 😭💔

Anyways, enjoy some Laurance love 💕

"What're you doing, my love?" A soft voice whispers behind you and you turn away from the stove, meeting the pretty blue eyes of your lover.

You smile softly, adoring the way Laurance stands with his hair sticking up every which way and his sweats hanging low on his hips. His shirt was gone, though you recall him going to bed wearing one. He always gets so hot in the night which is his own fault really. He just couldn't be more than two inches away from you, even during the hottest of nights he'll at least have his hand touching your back or waist. He is such a cuddle bug.

"Making you some breakfast. Just bacon and eggs, nothing special." You shrug, turning back to the stove and the smell of sizzling bacon.

You wanted to make him pancakes too, seeing as he almost always gets up before you and fills the kitchen with delicious smells and food for you to wake up to. But things didn't go as plan, especially when he was holding onto you so tightly less than an hour ago. How could you possibly pull away from that?

"Just?" he grumbles, and you hear the soft pattering of his bare feet on the ground. A strong arm wraps around your shoulder and in a quick move, he plants a wet kiss on your cheek. "You could've given me a frozen waffle and I would've been happy."

You giggle softly at his words, flipping the bacon in the pan. "This is nothing compared to the food you make me. Remember when you made croissants?"

"Croissants are a simple and classic French breakfast."

"Not when you make them from scratch!" You shake your head and you feel the hot air of Laurance huffing into your shoulder. "Plus you paired it with that delicious jam you got from that farmers market."

"The amish know what they're doing." He shrugs, clearly not realizing how impressive his cooking and baking skills are.

His hand then grabs onto the pan and playfully he nudges you out of the way by bumping his hip into yours. "Scooch. I got the rest."

"But this is the breakfast I'm making for you." You pout and he raises an eyebrow your way.

"I know. But you only have enough bacon in the pan for one person, and I can't let my darling girlfriend starve." He smiles at you, but you only feel your stomach churn at his words. "It'll be quicker if I finish this so we can eat together."

You hum thoughtfully, hands drifting down to your stomach when he looks back to the stove. "Well...I was actually just planning on having a cup of coffee and piece of toast."

Laurance pauses, suspiciouseyes peeking over his shoulder.

"What? Why?"

Why? Wasn't it obvious?

You nibble on your lip nervously. You don't want to admit it out loud. It is a natural occurance when you get older. You lose that fast metabolism and without consistant exercise and a decent diet things just...get a little thicker in places.

At first you thought it was a change in your period hormones. A few extra pounds was normal when a woman menstruates so you weren't concerned, especially when everything hurts and you're just trying not to bleed all over your furniture. But when the weight didn't go away you just began to feel and notice things you wish you didn’t.

Laurance is so passionate about cooking. He talks all the time about wanting to open a resturant of his own one day with all his favorite cuisine and recipes. He constantly wants you to try new things with him, going to all sorts of resturants and enjoying delicious home cooking. When you got together you adored that passionate side of him and ate just about everything he made for you.

Now you wonder if the calories are finally catching up to you.

"I'm just not that hungry. Oh and I saw on a fitness blog that breakfast should be the smallest meal of the day and-"

"But you love breakfast," Laurance says, voice sounding so dejected that your mouth snaps shut almost immediately. He looks back to the pan and then you again. "I don't...I don't understand. My girlfriend who loves food wants a plain piece of bread?"

"Maybe with butter."

"With butter."

You stare at each other for a long moment, a whirlwind of emotions raging in Laurance's blue eyes. His gaze then drifts downward to where your hands rests against your stomach and you can see him making the connection in seconds.

"Oh, my love, is this what this is about?" He turns the stove off quickly and then walks over to where you stood. His hands cup your face and he squishes your cheeks together. "Are you worried about gaining a little extra weight?"

"There's a better way of saying that..." you grumble, voice muffled from the strong force of his hands kneading your face like bread dough.

"No, there isn't." He smiles, amused. But it doesn't last long as his face grows serious. "Its alright you know. It just tells me you're healthy and I'm feeding you well."

"Too well."

He sighs softly before bending over and planting a kiss on your forehead. You melt under his touch and he slowly begins to drift his lips down your face. He lightly pecks your nose and cheeks, tracing over your freckles an beauty marks before finally hovering his lips right above your own.

"Why are you truly worried about it? Does it bother you? Or is it bothering someone else? Or perhaps..." he looks you right in the eyes, capturing your full attention. "you believe it'll bother me?"

You ponder his words. Why did it bother you? Your body changes all the time from pimples to ingrown hairs and even the occasional white hair or two. Those never bothered you before and this...this is something that is hardly even noticable to anyone but you.

And Laurance…you love him. Dearly. You would’ve told him if someone had said something about the way you looked. But perhaps he is right in a way. You didn’t want him to think lesser than you because you couldn’t enjoy his food and keep down the weight. He is fit and strong, going to the gym multiple times a week. You didn’t want to look bad at his side and embarrass him in front of his family or friends.

"I'm just...adjusting to the change. Growing in pant sizes isn't something I just ignore. Especially when it’s affecting my bank account,” you try to joke, putting on a smirk.

“If buying new pants was your only concern, I think this would be a different conversation.” He frowns, tilting his head at you. “But I don’t mind giving my girl a little money for a shopping spree.”

“I don’t want your money.”

“Then what is it that you do want, my love?”

You sigh softly, a hand reaching up to cup his face. “I just…want to eat a little healthier. So I can feel good and look good for you.”

“Ah, so you are concerned about how I feel about this change that I hadn’t even noticed till now.” He then pinches your nose playfully, causing you to reel back in shock.

“Laurance!”

“What? It’s the truth! And besides, I didn’t get with you because of your looks.” His face softens and you practically kiss him right then and there as he stares at you so lovingly. “I got with you because you’re kind and generous and you care so deeply about others. You love my food and you aren’t afraid to call me out on my faults and admit to your own. You’ve taught me to be a better person and I am proud to be your boyfriend. In more ways than one.”

“Laurance…”

“And this change just makes me want to cuddle you even more than before.” He grins and you smack his chest.

“I can’t lay in bed with you all day, Laurance!!” You scold, smiling as he begins to laugh loudly, tipping his head back.

“Yes, you can!” He leans down again to kiss you on the lips quickly. “We can sleep in late and then I’ll cook you a breakfast for the queen that you are.”

“I have work you know.”

“Call off.” He shrugs.

“Don’t even start!”

He chuckles again and before you can even let out another word he wraps his arms underneath your ass and throws you over his shoulder with ease. You squeal, surprise and then excitement flooding through you as he carries you over into the bedroom.

“Laurance!? What are you doing?”

“Taking you back to bed. You obviously need to be shown how much I love you.”

“B-but what about breakfast?”

“Leave it. You’ll be starving for something different very soon.”

Your face warms almost immediately. But with his strong arms around you and your bed cushioning your fall as he plops you onto the soft comforter, you no longer care about breakfast or coffee or even that lousy piece of toast. All that matters to you is Laurance and his unwavering love for you.

[gamergirl-niffler]

A few good words || Yakumo Murai x Reader

A/N: This is my entry for the Weekly Challenge. I just really wanted to write something for Blue Period since I love it so much! ENJOY!

The paintbrush glided across the canvas, mixing and smearing the paints. Nothing seemed right; everything was wrong, lines rucked, the colors completely off.

No matter what you did, no matter how much you changed, it still looked bad and nothing like the assignment.

At this point, you basically had no idea what you were working on, and the clock was ticking with the heavy weight of professors' expectations on your shoulders.

It wasn't a painting; it was a mess and you couldn't correct it whatsoever! 

Your mind was now just as messy as the painting. The mix of thoughts with desperate attempts to fix your creation led to complete mental overload.

You couldn't take it anymore. You simply snapped and simply started crying, right there, in front of a canvas. It was getting too much. You worked your ass off, and it still wasn't enough. It never was.

Suddenly the door to the little studio slid open. "AHA! I knew I'd find you here!” Yakumo said, walking into the room with his cocky smile. "I was thinking maybe we could go out and eat something... Are you crying?" He frowned, looking at you.

You, of course, shook your head, trying your best to wipe your eyes and cheeks, but you weren't fast enough as he approached you immediately.

"What's wrong, doll?" Murai asked.

You shook your head.

"Oh quit it. I can see you are crying. Don't pretend."

You sniffled and nodded. "I just... I can't finish the painting. No matter what, it looks like a mess, and I know I won't pass the assignment because every time I turn something in..."

"It's never enough for the professors. Eh, they are fuckin' annoying," he sighed and hugged you tightly. "As for me, you are a great artist. Almost as good as me," Yakumo joked, making you chuckle through your tears. "But I mean it. I love your paintings no matter what the teachers say. They know shit."

You just nuzzled into him as if you tried to hide away from everything, his words making you cry even more. You needed to hear it.

"Yeah, my girl is fuckin' best there is. Your style and each piece you create is gorgeous," he hummed, patting your hair.

You looked at him. "You just say it because you are my boyfriend."

Yakumo shook his head and used his hand to wipe tears off your cheeks before kissing your forehead. "Nah. I mean, I do love you, but I am separating talent from love," he shrugged, wiping a few more tears that escaped your eyes. "I know you will do great, and the assignment will be great, but you need to clean your head first. LET'S GO AND EAT! My treat."

"You have money..?" You asked, looking at him.

"Well... I planned to buy a new big paintbrush, BUT my girl is more important. I will steal yours when you won't be looking," he grinned. 

You laughed and nodded your head, following him outside the studio. "I will just lend it to you."

"Great! Now, let's go! I want to eat some good ramen!" Yakumo laughed, pulling you by the hand.

Even if he was loud and sometimes annoying, in such moments you were happy he was your boyfriend.

[magnoliapromenadegalleria]

TLDR:

-People have a hard time connecting with Kant because his main motivation, Babe, is not around much.

-Kant and Bison are both guilty of lying to one another. Interested to see how they navigate their relationship now that they are both on to each other.

I've had this thought in my head since last week, but never got around to writing it down. I think part of the reason people, not me because if Kant had one fan it would be me, have such a hard time getting behind Kant's reasoning and motivation, is because we aren't that familiar with the object of said reasoning. Babe is Kant's motivation. He's the only family he's got as far as we know, and he's Babe's guardian. It's not only a question of if Kant doesn't do what Capt. Crunch does he will be sent to jail, it's if Kant doesn't do what Capri Sun does he will be sent to jail, and Babe will most likely go into the system because there's no one else. That's simply just not an option. Kant wasn't stealing cars because he liked the thrill of it, he did so because he needed to take care of his brother, and he was desperate. We joke that Kant is a terrible criminal, but I think that's the point? From the pieces that we can grasp, he was/is a criminal out of necessity after his parent's sudden death, and not just for the thrill of it. He wouldn't be in his current situation if he was great at it.

When you write it out like that, I think it makes one more empathetic to his plight but the problem is we don't really know Babe. I wrote in a previous post that Fadel and Kant are the same in different fonts. Both are protective of their brothers and will do anything to protect them, but the stark difference is we know Bison. He's a fleshed-out person and we feel bad for him. We don't know Babe. We know that he likes Shakespeare, he gets bullied, and he's Kan't brother. That's it. We go episodes without seeing him, and his absence leads one to forget that he's the main reason Kant is doing any of this at all. He just looks like a sleaze trying to stay out of jail.

With each episode, it is becoming clear that Kant is failing horribly with not becoming attached to Bison. He lies and has a healthy amount of fear of Bison, but his gestures are honest. He can't help it, he's been into Bison since before he knew what he was. He's not just sweet on Bison because he has a role to play, he's sweet on Bison period. With them living and working in such close proximity anyway, they were bound to be a thing.

But.

That's not what happened, and he can't even fully explore his feelings because this cop is threatening him and has put him in an impossible and dangerous situation with no resources or protection, Bison is a killer, and he's stressed out by both. There's definitely nuance and reasoning there with Bison, but baby boy is still incredibly lethal. Kant's head has got to be stronger than his heart and his other head, and as much as he likes Bison, he loves his brother abundantly more, and that's reasonable. He also does not know Bison. I wrote something last year while watching Only Friends about Sand and Ray's relationship that I think can be applied here. Kant and Bison are not getting the same insight into one another, for clear reasons. They're open with each other, but they are not completely honest with each other for, again, reasons.

Kant is lying to Bison, but Bison is also lying to Kant. Kant knows Bison is lying to him, but being a sweet-faced assassin is a pretty big omission. Bison is under the impression that he's killing bad people, but Kant isn't privy to that and only knows that under that pretty face with dreams and an artistic spirit with a love of cats lies a killer. Someone who could kill him and his brother and not think twice about it. Obviously not, but Kant does not know that. Someone who just as easily lies to him about a big part of his life, and with a lot more ease. Bison doesn't want to be an assassin anymore and wants to live his life, but as far we know he does not lose sleep over any of his kills, and that's still scary. Again, nuance there, I got a whole thought process on other mother raising children to be disposable assassins, but this post ain't that!

It's been touched on many times that Bison knows there's something up with Kant. He is a perceptive little thing, so there's no way he doesn't know Kant is not being truthful. Fadel has pointed out and Bison does not listen. Bison knows. Deep in his bones he's always known, but I think he didn't want to believe it because he's fallen for Kant. That may not have been the initial goal, he just wanted freedom and Kant's hot, great motivators, but dammit if he didn't fall for the guy. I have a similar theory about Kant. Let me explain, don't touch the mic, let me explain. Kant knows Bison's other occupation. Capt told him what was up and he hasn't been completely comfortable around Bison because he knows this information, but I don't think it really clicked for him until he went into Bison and Fadel's secret room. Not because he didn't believe it, but because he didn't want it to be true. I think he wanted Capt. to be wrong about this because he's fallen for Bison too, and not only that, he's falling deeper despite all that. Which is a terrifying revelation. And Bison protected his brother twice now? Kant might be better at keeping himself than the other three, and he might be lying to himself out of self preservation, but he's just as gone. Now that both know about the other, I'm so ready for them to finally be truthful and truly lay themselves bare without deceit between them.

...This got away from me, but whatever.

One last thing! I think this scene above is after all truths and betrayal are out in the open because that looks like a taxi, probably stolen, Kant looks like he might be wearing some sort of uniform that hides his tattoos, and Bison is wearing a hat to hide his identity. Okay, I'm done.

[yuri-is-online]

hi, thank you for answering! i really love the fyuuture kid au!! could i ask for cater!yutu? 👀 i wonder if yutu knows there is more to him, and if yuu remembered that too in the og timeline to tell their son

👀 you may. I have a separate fic I am supposed to be writing for him but I had thoughts...

notes: they/them used for Yuu, cw for discussions of mental health and suicide, but no one self harms and nothing is described. General fyuuture kid au info can be found here and the first post can be found here. More of it can be found under the series section of my masterlist.

Yuu's memories of Twisted Wonderland are less concrete thoughts and more feelings. They know how Cater made them feel, and bits and pieces of his personality but they lack memory of the context, so their memory tries to patch up the holes. In other words, they don't remember Cater's act was an act, and they explain him to Yutu as a creative, friendly person, who likely struggled with a form of depression.

"Your father would sometimes find himself feeling despondent, lacking energy, and motivation. There is a chance as you get older that you might feel that way sometimes too, but that's not because you are a failure or because you did something wrong. I won't hate you if you feel that way and I will never judge you for it. I will always be there for you."

It's a good call, Yutu does find himself having some periods of depression as he gets older from time to time, and the early conversation Yuu had with him allowed him to feel comfortable with discussing that with his parent. The idea that his father had similar struggles comforts him, doubly so if Yuu does as well. He thinks about his dad a lot actually, Yuu's lack of memory means Yutu's over active imagination tries to fill in the blanks.

There is a part of him that thinks his father might have lost his battle with depression and that Yuu's memory loss was due to grief. He respects his father a lot, and is determined to take care of his own and Yuu's physical and mental well being to honor him. Yutu likes to think that is what his dad would want.

He loves music, he finds playing guitar and singing to be very soothing, but he's not super interested in being in a band; he is much more interested in maybe jamming a bit and just talking with his friends. Pretty much exactly like his dad now that I think about it.

I like the thought of Cater! Yutu wanting to be a psychologist when he grows up... and knowing that Yuu isn't the wealthiest person starts working part time to save up for college. He's a very driven person, and deeply interested in what makes people tick.

Cater! Yutu is one of the Yutu's who is A) in a different dorm than his dad (Octavinelle, not Heartslabyul) and B) who sort of prefers your world to Twisted Wonderland. He warms up to Twisted Wonderland after traveling into the past and actually gets to see what it's like, but he really didn't like fighting monsters or seeing what had happened to his father, speaking of which-

He tried asking about what his father was like before he was transformed into a monster, but he didn't get a lot of clear answers. Crewel tells him that he was very outgoing and peppy, a good enough student who was really into an app called magicam that isn't around anymore due to the *gestures vaguely at the apocalypse* and Sam told him a neat story about his New Year's sale and how well his dad could work a crowd. "Good with people." That's something he hears a lot, but nothing to suggest he wasn't always happy. They do have some recordings the pop music club made they pass along to him that Yutu treasures and keeps close.

Yutu had to fight his dad's monster form multiple times to try and rescue people from the Queendom of Roses. It was painful to see a monster who is actively trying to kill him and people he has come to care about and then have him pointed out to him as his dad. There isn't any life left in Cater's eyes to recognize him, but Yutu still wants it to be there. He has so many questions and no one left to answer them.

When he travels back in time, Yutu doesn't interact with Cater immediately. His mind still associates him with blot and grueling fights, so he hangs back around Yuu and Adeuce. It was a bit difficult to get used to being around them, but it helped that Deuce is very polite and his focus on being an honor student is kind of cute. Ace though...

Ace is suspicious. He tries telling those suspicions to Cater, "Hey don't you like Yuu haven't you asked them out a whole bunch you should be worried about this-" blah blah blah, look Cater wasn't there to see Yutu arrive, and he knows the froshes like to exaggerate. There is no way Yutu fell out of the sky and it isn't a big deal that he knows so much about Yuu. They're probably just childhood friends, and those never win even if it would be kind of cute- hey maybe they're related??? It doesn't matter, Cater is determined not to think about it. Which leads to a series of miscommunications where Cater tries teasing Yutu but it just makes him look like an ass for assuming things.

Yutu actually finds this sort of interesting. Now that he actually is talking to his dad, well no. Now that he has actually heard his dad open his mouth and speak it is sort of difficult to think of him as a blot monster or to be afraid. Overblot Cater never said something like "yikes a tron 3000." He thinks he gets what Yuu was remembering about him, Cater can come off as very fake sure, but there are traces of the real him in what he does and says. His dad likes the color yellow, catchy music, being praised when he does something cool, and he wants to be taken care of by someone. Someone Yutu suspects is his parent~

It also helps that he has been stealing Yuu's phone while they're asleep (he tried their password from the future it still worked rip bozo) and scrolls through Cater's magicam feed to try and get a sense for what he liked in between all the trends. He noticed the skateboard stuff and made sure to ask about it by saying something about how "oh I heard about it from Yuu, they thought it was really cool."

Cater isn't really ready to be a dad, but he is surprisingly chill when he learns just who Yutu is.

"Oh please you're here aren't you? You wouldn't be unless I wanted you." Cater sounds so ridiculously sure of himself that Yutu half wonders if he is talking to someone else. But no, it's his dad. His very creative, very good with people, sometimes a bit depressed dad who respects him enough to be honest with him. "You have to know that Yuu wants you to be here, right? I didn't screw that up for you, did I?"

"It wasn't you." He needed to say that out loud for himself, because it wasn't. Yutu's Cater was dead a long time before he ever got to see him. "It looked like you, but it wasn't you."

They like to play music together sometimes, but in typical pop music club fashion they usually just eat snacks and talk. Yutu wants to play some of the music on the recordings Crewel gave him with Cater and Cater wants to make new tracks. He is a bit disappointed that there was no magicam in the future for Yutu to tell him about, but he is just as happy to hear weird trends from Yuu's world.

Cater likes to bring Yuu in to these jam sessions sometimes. He does like to do couple stuff with Yuu on magicam sometimes, but he prefers to keep his more genuine emotions and moments to himself. He will get very embarrassed if he finds out that Yutu has been taking pictures with the ghost camera behind his back.

The future that Yutu came from scares him, he would prefer someone else take the lead on figuring out how to fix it, but if monsters begin attacking in this time? Well he has no problem taking point on that, hey he's heard kids find things less scary if they see their dad's there to protect them.

And Cater is pretty scary when he's mad about missing out on something ♡

[xianjaneway]

So, here's the thing.

I was in a cult.

I had no idea I was in a cult, because NO ONE KNOWS when they're in a cult. I thought I was just REALLY devoted to Jesus. 🙄

I got out of the cult. I got my husband & my kids out of the cult. I helped a lot of other people get out of the cult.

After a while, though, I just wanted a life that didn't involve cult-y things. What would I be like if I'd never been in the cult? Would I have still been a musician? Would I have had as many children? Would I ever have been diagnosed w/ADHD? What would my career have been? Would I have married the same man? Would I have healed from my upbringing in some different way?

We'll never know, but we can know what life is like AFTER the cult. THAT is the option open to me now.

You know what I didn't do while I was in the cult?

Read.

I didn't read fiction books anymore.

And I had a degree in Creative Writing!

Know why?

Because I was supposed to, "....take every thought captive, & make it obedient to Christ!"

Thoughts lead to actions, and sin in real life begins with your thought life.

Aaaaaannd, if I were to read a book with, let's say, a sex scene in it, & it made me have sexy thoughts about someone who was NOT MY HUSBAND, then that's a sin.

Not just against God, but against MY HUSBAND.

Yep. My sexy thoughts are supposed to start AND end with him & him alone. Anything outside that is like bringing other people into our marriage. It's LIKE ADULTERY.

Folks, as you know, most fiction books don't have a rating system like AO3.

You can't filter them quite as easily.

I could be reading a hardboiled-detective noir mystery set in Appalachia in 1987, thinking we're about to explore a hidden robotics lab that's tucked behind a waterfall, but SUDDENLY, SEX!!!

And, regardless of how I reacted to the words on the page, by letting myself read any of them, I was (seriously!) giving the Devil a foothold.

To my neurodivergent brain, (which was also raising up to 4 small children & working night shift) it was simply easier to stop reading fiction written for the secular market, than it was to try & research which authors would do a fade-to-black.

A researcher named Steven Hassan came up with the "B.I.T.E Model of Authoritarian Control." He shows how cults control:

Behavior.

Information.

Thought.

Emotion.

Look him up, if you want to understand why your Trump-loving relatives have lost their minds. 💔

I'm just sorry.

On behalf of all the Christian nationalists who are making life hell for everyone now, I'm TRULY sorry that I ever believed any of this bullshit.

Cults get ahold of you when you're vulnerable. It can even be argued that the churches (yes, plural) that I was in were at one point NOT a cult, & slowly became a cult, over a period of decades.

As I'm trying to live my non-cult-y life, I'm just so damn thankful that fanfiction exists.

See, there are only so many things I can talk about in therapy, & there are only so many experiences I can go have in any given day.

However, I have HYPERLEXIA, baby, & a job with plenty of boring-AF tasks!

I read over 700 wpm.

And since I'm a woodworker & eBay seller, (who also has Long COVID--thanks Anti-vaxxers!) I work by myself a lot.

I found a lovely app called Evie, which lets me download fics, & it READS THEM ALOUD to me.

And, as I've re-discovered fiction, I've realized that I'm processing a lot of emotions that simply HAD NO LANGUAGE OR OUTLET before I read your stories.

Yeah.

If I left you a bunch of weirdly-vulnerable comments in your fics, THAT'S WHY.

Because that's what cults do: they take your language away, your emotions away, & your choices away, & then, to add insult to injury, they use your energy, your fucking life-force, to further their own agenda, whatever it is.

And yet you people....

You brain-rotted, fandom-obesessed, encyclopedias of pop culture that you are, have churned out incredible, moving, healing, BEAUTIFUL, SKILLFUL pieces of fiction that are HELPING ME HEAL FROM IT ALL.

I'll never forget the day my husband said something that irritated me, but I'd read the sweetest Good Omens fic earlier, where Aziraphale had responded to Crowley's grumpiness with a funny quip. I'd invited something *kind* to be planted in me, & was able to respond to my husband in kindness.

I'd spent such a long time marinating in the cult's expectations, & their promises for eternity.

It's so damn nice to read about real human emotions, experiences, struggles, relationships, or whatever, just to wash my brain with a different perspective.

Maybe it's old news to all of you who didn't spend the last 25+ years in a cult, but fiction helped develop my under-nourished empathy. It lubricated the rusty gears of my brain, with new words & new experiences. It gave me a new dictionary & thesaurus worth of words to describe my experiences & inner life.

Limiting information limits language, which limits thought, & ultimately limits action.

Every time you write, you help set someone free.

[justmesten]

About act 2

So this could be just yapping, the experience is still very fresh and I have to rewatch it to catch everything but. I feel a bit underwhelmed. The show up to this point did a great job of managing the different storylines and the causality but in this act it began to fall apart. I felt like some happenings were left unhandled or were resolved underwhelmingly. With that said this show is still an amazing piece of art, I absolutely love it, and some of the things I will say could very possible be resolved in act III. For example, at the end of act I we saw Caitlyn appointed commander, but in this act she didn't really do anything with it. There was a chance for character development through this yet all we saw were enforcers still being violent, Ambessa pulling the strings as it was expected, Maddie being a rebound for her I guess..? But the act didn't show how power could've changed her, what policies she would bring or what decisions she made. It's especially frustrating because they did it so well with Jayce last season. Not to mention she didn't really show how she felt after leaving Vi.

Ambessa showed her teeth in this act, a little more than she should've. She got a lot of screentime which she used to assert dominance so to say. I think it was a bit too much of her, she didn't really change that much, other character's could've used this time better. Time is the weakness of this season for me so far, they want to show so much, they only have 3 more episodes and yet they don't use it wisely. The Black Rose and Mel being an actualy magic user(which I speculated for 3 years btw its amazing) could've been shown in 2 scenes and still would've the same meaning and depth. This is also true for Singed to a decree, tho not that much, I enjoyed his scenes, and the reveal with his daughter. With more characters back in the final act I'm a bit worried about this.

For Vi's depressive period I would've expected more than the montage we already saw in the trailer, but I guess that's okay. They did a great job with the sisters finding out Warwick is Vander, finding his old hideout, expressing their emotions, I really liked that part. She and Jinx came to terms very quickly after hating eachother and fighting so much but I can accept that it was overshadowed by Vander being alive, given that was the cause of them braking apart in the begining. I didnt really get why she went into Ambessas camp, and why that being captured act was necessary, I know they mentioned a diversion but it was a bit weird for me. This is on Caitlyn more, I dont think her flipping sides was justified enough, we didn't see her frustrated with Ambessa or Singed.

Jinx's story took a 180 turn with her not caring anymore. I loved to see her relationship with Isha develop, how emotions, positive emotions came back to her. She even got in touch with Vi for Vander and from her perspective it made more sense, cause I think she let go of her hate in act I already. I loved how they stopped fighting when Vi hurt Isha, that moment empathizes that they never wanted to hurt innocents and children, but through their story it happened again and again. I can't wait to see her lose her shit again in act III because of the traume she yet again experienced.

Viktor's story didn't go the way I thought it would but with this ending it kind of makes sense. I don't think he's actually dead, he still has a role to play. With he's community ruined he'll choose another path which I'm excited to see. This community didn't really seem that great with everyone connected him like a hive mind, and also we've seen with Salo that anyone he healed went through personality changes which is really shady. I can't wait to get to know the difference between him and Jayce.

And Jayce my boy the hate you're about to recive, you're in for a rough time. I actually liked how his character made everything more complicated in the last episode, and that he killed Viktor without a word is just Wild. Cant wait to see.

Warwick has been teased for so long and it was worth the wait. He carried this act for me, the sheer distruction in the prison was enough. And they gave him emotion with Vander still being inside, but I think with Viktor's "passing" that's over. He's gonna become the monster we waited for.

What do you guys think?

They did my girl Sevika dirty, losing an arm again?! Poor woman fr

[six-improbable-things]

One of my favorite things about having an animal in your life is seeing how their interests change over time. Like, when my mom got her cat Ollie, he had to get special bath treatments, and he HATED it. But now he's obsessed with water, and will do ANYTHING to be able to stick his paws in it.

And my dad's cat, Charlie, went through a phase where he was fascinated with his water dish, and if you poured water in it from a cup or something, he'd sit and stare at the bubbles and ripples like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. But he grew out of it, and doesn't care anymore. (He also has an "on-and-off-again" obsession with playing fetch, which he was the one to as us to do with him.)

His brother, Loki, recently developed a love of perching on furniture. (Those aren't even all the pictures I have. There's more.) He never sat in any of those places up until a few weeks ago, but now he does it constantly!! Side tables, dressers, cabinets, hutches, all of it!

And all of them continually develop new favorite sleeping spots and rotate through them. Both of my dad's cats had phases where they loved this basket full of blankets we keep in the living room. More recently, they also mostly gave up sleeping on my dad's feet at night (which they had done for almost 6 years) in favor of a large pillow at the foot of his bed. My childhood cat, Lucky, had a long period where her favorite spot to sleep was the back of one of the couch cushions, to the point where the shape of it was permanently altered.

Also, toy preference!! My cousins' old cat, Sylvester, has a little hex wrench (like you'd use to adjust a bicycle seat) that he LOVED to play with. He also would play fetch with a red rubbed fish.

Loki has his "jingle toy" which is one of those "fishing rod" (stick and string with something on the end) toys, with a mouse with a bell at the end. He will carry it around with him at night, and it's very fun to see where it ends up each morning. (It occasionally ends up in my dad's bed, which is never where it starts the night. Loki likes bringing his toys to be with him sometimes.)

Charlie will only play fetch with a handful of very specific toy mice. None of the others, even ones that look almost identical, are suitable.

Not really either of the above categories, but I used to ride a horse who, for no discernible reason, hated the color blue, and would avoid it as best he could. Blue flowers under a jump, or a blue bottle on a fence post were sure to make him jumpy.

The first two winters I rode him, he also had an aversion to one particular corner of the indoor arena. The next winter, that fear had vanished, but had been replaced with a strong dislike of winter blankets. Well, everyone's but his own, that is.

Mind you, he was 13 when I first started riding him, so none of this was young horse jitters. And he was born at the barn where I rode him, and very well taken care of. He was also well-trained, and aside from the aversion to blue occasionally causing issues, he was very well-behaved.

(Silly side note, but developing obsessions with random appliances or pieces of furniture is actually something your pets can do in the Sims, which is really funny to me. It's a nice little touch.)

I don't really know where this post is going, other than I love that animals are all unique and have their own distinct interests and preferences. Feel free to share your pets' interests or favorite toys!!

[anxious-witch]

Part two of how Dead Boy Detectives shows different ways of love/lust/devotion throughout the characters' rs.

Part one

This part is gonna focus on Edwin/Monty and part three is gonna be about Crystal/Niko(bc I can't shut up, apparently)

So before I delve into Edwin/Monty dynamic, let's just take a look at Monty as a character in his own right.

He is quite literally a crow turned human and then turned back to the crow again. There is this tumblr post that describes the concept of madness in terms of eldritch horror. Basic idea is that madness is when you are an ant, but then for a moment, you can comprehend things as a human would, just to have it taken away again. You have a memory of understanding things far beyond your comprehension, but you can't understand them anymore. That is true madness.

And Monty experiences that, both with being overwhelmed with human emotions and it clearly taking a toll on him in the short period that he is human, and then gets turned into a crow again. Clearly there is still some recollection and understanding he possess, due to the fact he helps Charles, but we'll never really know.

Either way, the bits and pieces we see of Monty's life as a human, we can safely say he has very little to no agency of his own. He was created to fulfill a goal-to lead Charles and Edwin into a trap.

I am not usually a big fan of characters who were "born yesterday" experiencing romance and defining themselves through it, but I think DBD carried out that trope in such a beautiful and unique way. We can't know for certain, but based on Esther's reaction to seeing Monty flirt with Edwin, I think we can conclude she didn't give him direct instructions on how to get their trust. Which meant that Monty choose to pursue Edwin on his own volition.

It was at least a bit out of practicality, I'm sure, since Charles and Crystal had their thing going on, but there was also something that drew Monty to Edwin. I think what's so special in their relationship is that Monty seems surprised Edwin reciprocates his attempts-until the kiss that is. Edwin may scoff at astrology, but then he intently listens to Monty explaining his chart to him. He recommends a book to him, and discusses it with him. He even agrees to go on a night stroll with him!

I don't fully blame Monty for reading Edwin wrong. Up until that point, Edwin seemed very open to his advances. It's easy to us, as the viewer to know Edwin's focus is elsewhere, and that he sees what he and Monty have as friendship.

Anyway, I am derailing my point. What I think is done brilliantly is that the very few choices Monty is allowed to make are centered around Edwin, but they also tells us a hell lot about Monty himself! Monty sees love as a way of understanding a person. That's why he makes Edwin's chart, and whenever you believe in astrology or not, he clearly does. And he thinks he knows Edwin. Edwin is determined, stubborn, protective, but also kind and thoughtful.

Which is why it's such a blow when he completely misreads Edwin's feels during the swingset scene! Monty's idea of love, as naive as it, is shattered. Because it turns out he doesn't know Edwin at all. The whole meeting in the woods, where the Cat King appears only crushes him further, but he felt betrayed even before that.

"Charles is the one you have feelings for. It is so obvious!" Sounds quite a lot like someone who didn't find it obvious up until it was too late to take his actions back. Because it turns out you cannot know a person so quickly. They are much more complex. Too complex, for someone who is only few weeks human, like Monty is.

But then, Edwin admits that he still cared for him. That Monty was his first kiss and despite Edwin not reciprocating his feelings, he is still his friend and that still matters to him greatly. Because there is a more than one way to love and care for someone. Which, by the Monty's reaction, he didn't realize up until that moment.

Immediately upon realizing it, what does Monty do? He turns everything around. Yes, the Cat King stops him and exposes his secret so his attempt is moot, but let's not forget the fact that Monty was about to throw away everything for Edwin in that moment. His whole history with Esther, the threat of her possible vengeance, everything he is up until that point. All because Edwin cares for him. Genuinly, truly confirms he cares for him.

I think that's what makes it so powerful. It isn't romantic love that sways Monty. No, it's the thought of genuine care despite Monty's wrong assesmwnt of Edwin's feelings that changes him.

All Monty wanted was to be cared for. Whatever consideration Esther has for him seems more of the consideration someone has for a useful tool at her disposal. But not Edwin. Edwin cares.

It tells us a lot about Edwin too! Edwin, who says "I am not good with people", Edwin, who protested at Crystal joining the agency because she alive, Edwin, who insisted the living are messy. Yet, up until it's revealed Monty betrayed him, he clearly cares so much, taking his case despite it clearly not being top priority. Because he wants to be Monty's friend, even if he can't love him back.

I also think that, if it wasn't for Monty bringing up Charles and making Edwin feel defensive, Edwin would have forgiven him right then and there. I mean like, just look at his face when he asks Monty if he was just pretending to be his friend and Monty says: "At first, yes! But then, no."

Edwin sympathizes. Edwin forgives Simon for killing him and dooming him to Hell. I don't believe for one second he wouldn't be able to forgive Monty if he knew even a fraction of what he endured by Esther. About how little choice he had in the entire matter.

It's really unfortunate they don't get more scenes together because I feel like they changed each other sm in only a matter of days? Weeks? That they had together. Edwin learned to be more open towards things that are not purely rational, ie astrology, and more importantly, he was learning how to open up, and share his interests with people who aren't Charles. As much as I love Charles, he clearly isn't as interested in reading and literature as Edwin is and that's okay! But Edwin had someone to express that side of himself with, who could reciprocate and open new things for Edwin.

I actually do believe that, under different circumstances and with more time, Edwin could have returned Monty's feelings. Which makes the whole thing more tragic, but alas.

Another interesting thing that occurred to me is that both Monty and the Cat King die by the hands of Esther and her cane when they admit to their love for Edwin. Which, I think, once again symbolizes how those feelings are just too big for the state they are currently in. For the Cat King, that love tirns him more mature and somber. For Monty, it's too overwhelming, and he turns back to his old state, unable to handle them. And yet-even in that form, he cannot deny them, not when Edwin is screaming and he has a chance to help Charles free him. Because as much as we try to go back to how we were before, love, even through heartbreak, changes us.

And Simon-Simon also changes forms after accepting his love for Edwin. He quite literally earns his redemption after it. And Charles? Well, Charles comes out of hell, his shirt back to bright red, because Edwin's love uplifted him sm.

Edwin Payne, truly the man that inspires devotion in everyone he meets

[shortnsnips]

twitter is really pissing me off with this. ( / wilbur soot , abuse )

love dream, hate dream, i don't care. you can think he's a terrible person, think he did terrible things WHILE ALSO acknowledging how well-spoken and important it was for him to say something. all of these stupid "he's doing it to save face!" or "this is an insane PR tactic" or even the "this is dangerous!!!" are actually so insensitive and to be quite honest makes you side with abusers!

dream is a victim of domestic violence and has been public about this for YEARS - it is so incredibly important that he spoke out in support of shelby while ALSO condemning wilbur's actions as a victim of domestic abuse to show solidarity, from one victim to another. to show that he KNOWS what it's like, he knows the behaviors and the tactics. he saw them in wilbur's bullshit "apology".

dream even says in his statement how encouraging it was to see, as a victim himself, that people were speaking out in support of shelby. how this was going to raise awareness to see the signs, to help encourage more people to speak out and not fear their abuser or just to be able to stand up for anyone who decides to speak out about it. to go on and completely diminish his words by saying "don't let this fool you!" is actually really gross. diminishing another victim's voice is gross. nobody said you had to like him for speaking up. did he have to? no. did anyone have to? also no! don't know why we're so upset and angry about having more uplifting voices, more support. we should be focusing on supporting shelby, not using another victim's message of support to shit on other people and bring external situations into this. it's gross and draws the attention away from the matter at hand, which is what the abuser tried to do in the first place.

since im here (probably won't be back to waffle until the tubbathon starts lol) i just wanted to point out the parts that really stuck out to me from his response because even though i don't really care for him anymore, i do think his support/condemnation has been the best worded so far.

"she had a reason to be afraid to say your name, but you shouldn't have been afraid to say hers"

i got actual chills from that one because FUCK it's so true. it bothered me so bad that wilbur was so vague about it almost as if he could AVOID it if he never attached her name to it. idk if theres really any legal stuff behind it or what not but other than that he had zero consequences for naming her directly. zero consequences for giving her a direct apology. his "apology" didn't even sound like it was TO HER. he isn't sorry, he obviously doesn't know what he has to be sorry for if he's too much of a pussy to address her directly.

"thank you for being brave"

it is so so important that he described her as such because not only does it continue to uplift her and encourage her to stay strong and continue to be brave, but it shows that speaking out against any form of abuse no matter what it is is BRAVE. it's admirable and hopefully sends encouragement to anyone else who reads it that speaking out against it is brave. point blank period. (and honestly everything in his apology to shelby was so incredibly well-worded - its really the fucking fact that dream who had no involvement whatsoever could apologize but wilbur didn't even know what he was supposed to apologize for lol.)

i've said this before, and i'll say it again. all of my love and support goes out to shelby. i am so incredibly inspired and proud of her for being able to stand up for herself, to speak out against someone even if they had a larger platform and raise awareness to the signs and pieces of shit within the community so we don't continue to support and platform dangerous people. i've watched shelby for such a long time, she was such an important part of my childhood and it actually breaks my heart that someone could even THINK of doing anything like that to her because she is such a fucking light and fuck ANYONE who would do anything to try and put that out. i wish her nothing but the best and all of the healing in the world because she deserves it so so much. my heart goes out to any and all other victims of wilbur, as well.

[indodino]

Idek what to say rn.

Idek if I should make this post...

I'm so tired.

I feel like my life is just casually falling apart, no matter how hard I try to get it back on track. Something is always going wrong or being stripped away from me due to the cruel and evil and selfish nature of this world. Every time I think things are getting better, everything just gets shot down from every possible angle.

I've always had a rough life, but it's starting to become too much. At one point I looked at the story of Job and just knew the pain was temporary... knew eventually that God would bring things together for good like He did with Job. But now? I don't even know if I can keep having hope that I will ever be rewarded on this earth as Job was. I don't know if God has anything for me here from this point forward. It feels like my purpose has been fulfilled and I'm just waiting to finally be picked up and taken home.

Legitimately, I just want to go home. I don't belong here. Never have... never will. I'm tired of being in physical, mental, and spiritual pain on a daily basis... I'm tired of this life and everything it brings. I didn't sign up for this. And while I'm happy to push through and allow God to work through me... to be here to fulfill His purpose... idk how much more I can take.

And honestly, my genuine care and love for people only makes it harder. Knowing that some of these individuals I would die for are going to willingly choose eternity separate from God... knowing that some of these people will want me dead just for how much I care and want to warn them in hopes they'll be okay and change their minds.

I'm tired of having to live in this world. Having no place to even temporarily fit in. Too autistic, loyal, and serious about following God word for word for the Christian community... too much of a child of God for the autistic community... too loving and genuine for this evil, lying world. I can't wait to be done.

At this point, I either want to know what God wants me to do, or for Him to end my suffering if I have fulfilled my purpose. I want to either be able to bring people to Him and convince people to save their precious souls... or be with Him, face to face, where I belong, as soon as possible if the former isn't meant to be.

I honestly don't know how to fully express or explain what I'm feeling... I don't even fully comprehend what I want or what I'm feeling. I just know that I'm so tired and done. I want to go home.

But I also don't want to abandon the people I care about to fall into Satan's snares... even if the second I try and say something, everyone besides God just immediately abandons me. I've lost almost every friend I've made, and those I haven't lost yet either aren't saved, are lukewarm, or have nothing in common to bond about other than our pain. Although even then... I don't really know anyone that has a pain quite like mine.

I can't even find joy in any of my hobbies... I basically have no hobbies left unless you count sleeping all day and having mental and emotional breakdowns all night. Even WITH God, I feel so bored and empty in this cruel world that makes it nearly impossible not to stumble and screw something up. I just want to go home. I want to be at peace for a change.

The only time I even feel a glimmer of peace is when I go mentally numb. When my emotions shatter... when I'm indifferent to the pain, both mentally and physically... when I feed into my depressive state. Maybe this is God's plan for me? I don't know anymore.

What I do know though is that I will never stop trusting Him... no matter what is thrown my way or how much it hurts and makes me want to fade from existence. So I guess I'll sit here, numb and broken, waiting to see what God is eventually going to make from my shattered pieces.

I don't have much left to give... but I give it all to Him.

If you see me disappear from the internet for extended periods... this is why. It's always been why honestly. And I think I might be done trying to use fiction and virtual realities to cope. It has only ever made things worse anyways.

I have no idea if or when I might end up posting art or stories again. Sorry to disappoint.